During the pandemic, many of us found solace in the TV show Ted Lasso. In a world in chaos, we sought refuge in the show’s imperfect but lovable characters and drew inspiration from their trials, tribulations, and changes that overlapped with our own experiences. The show’s humility, values, humor, and deep kindness stood in stark contrast to the cruelty prevalent in the rest of the world. The show transported us to a world where trust and respectful interactions with the vulnerable ruled. Laughter and tears were common throughout the viewing.
A recurring message of change is present throughout the series. One particularly inspiring and powerful change is that of Rebecca Welton, the owner of the fictional Richmond football team. I call this change “The Rebecca Effect,” and I believe it serves as a beacon of hope for anyone who feels marginalized, oppressed, humiliated, or under micro- and macro-aggression.
At the beginning, Rebecca is obsessed with revenge against her ex-husband Rupert for betraying her marriage. She hires football coach Ted Lasso to destroy Rupert’s beloved football team, which she inherited during their divorce. Her journey is filled with reminders of how her ex-husband tried to publicly marginalize and humiliate her. Through self-reflection, support from friends, and relationships with Lasso and her best friend Keely, she finds herself again.
Like Rebecca, many women endure betrayal, marginalization and oppression. Despite having great power, they feel doubt and question their own worth. Many women encounter people who preach misogynistic ideas and try to diminish their worth. The “Rebecca effect” is the process by which women learn to embrace their whole selves – their talents and shortcomings. They gain the courage to stand up against injustice. This transformation involves embracing weakness, acknowledging the child within and recognizing their inherent power and worth.
In a memorable scene in Ted Lasso, Rebecca looks in the mirror and sees herself as a young girl. She delivers a message of empowerment to her younger self. This is one of Rebecca’s most striking and transformative moments, as she delivers a powerful speech about her views on the nature of football. Invited to a meeting with other owners to discuss the creation of a Super Football League, she enters the room as the only woman. As soon as she enters, an old acquaintance makes an inappropriate comment about her appearance. Her ex-husband is also in attendance. As she listens to the greed-driven discussion, we witness her growing more and more empowered. An encouraging email from her best friend reminds her that every man in the room was once a boy. Before she begins to speak, she looks at the greedy men and visualizes them as boys.
With unwavering courage and determination, she passionately extols the importance of football to all. Her desire for revenge turns to sympathy as she recounts a story from his youth, of a poor boy sneaking into the stadium to watch a game, caught and beaten by a security guard. Twenty-five years later, when he buys Richmond’s club, he calls that very security guard into his office and, for some reason, gives him a raise. After she convinces the group to back out of the plan, he approaches her and tries to embrace her, but she steps back, drawing a firm boundary: she no longer wants or desires his affections.
Rebecca grew to love the Richmond team and wanted them to succeed, and as a representative example of her transformative actions, she made the decision to retain 51% ownership of the team and sell the remaining 49% to the fans, a move that was welcomed by Richmond fans.
As I watched Rebecca’s transformation, I found myself tearing up, and I realized that her journey was my own and the journey of so many women I’ve interacted with over the years who were more qualified than their male counterparts but didn’t get promotions or equal pay, or who were oppressed by crude jokes, sexual innuendo, and advances from their coworkers and superiors.
Memories of being publicly humiliated in front of a distinguished audience by people in power flooded into my consciousness. I had made a mistake and the aftermath was marked by relentless verbal abuse. I felt petrified, trembling, questioning my self-worth, and recalling childhood memories of abuse. A group of women stepped up to support and protect me. Their support enabled me to speak truth to power. I didn’t feel particularly courageous, but many women later told me that witnessing me stand up and speak frankly to people in power was a defining moment for them.
Introspection, the unwavering support of loved ones, and the wisdom of lived experience helped me to embrace my whole self that day, flaws and all.As with Rebecca, imagining my younger self and giving myself an embodied embrace allowed me to feel the two – adult and child – merge.
Self-compassion will arise, we will all be more receptive to kind and heartwarming words from others, and we may realize that our path is bigger than ourselves and that it may involve a greater purpose. The “Rebecca Effect” is the empowerment and transformation possible for all of us who have felt oppressed, marginalized, or shamed.
I encourage you to stop and reflect on your journey. Take a moment to experience the “Rebecca Effect.” Be kind and compassionate to your whole self. It may be helpful to write a letter to your younger self and include all that you have learned about love and healing. What or who helped you through difficult times? Just as Rebecca looked in the mirror and imagined her younger self, you can do the same. Pay attention to the thoughts, emotions and sensations you experience as you surround yourself with compassion and surround yourself with all that has helped and nourished you along your journey.
Tara Thomas Agency stands at the forefront of the entertainment industry, with years of experience dedicated to nurturing the most exceptional talents and successful acts.
